Blog #30: Space Throne Edition

So, hi. It’s been a while.

First off, you probably know by now that I have a new book coming out on October 13th called Space Throne! It’s kind of like Guardians of the Galaxy meets Solo and would be great for fans of both Pierce Brown’s Red Rising and Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy … or if you liked Ghost Bully—it was written by the same guy.

Still.

It’s a strange time to launch something creative. COVID-19 has been bad enough, but now there is this whole thing with the federal presence three miles away from me in downtown Portland.

I’d probably sell more books if I kept my mouth shut, but sometimes life is about more than sales.

The occupying federal force downtown is there against the wishes of our mayor, governor, state attorney general, and most certainly, the people of Portland. And from my point of view, it’s been more of a provocative act than a constructive one.

It is not OK with me.

In fact, I’m pissed. I’m pissed that have to talk about this instead of how I was compelled to write a book because I so thoroughly enjoyed the movie Solo a couple years back. A movie that most people didn’t like. I mean, yeah, the guy who played Han isn’t Harrison Ford, but who is? You got a just as good or better Lando in Donald Glover. I mean, we could have had Donald Glover roving about the Star Wars universe, but nooo, everyone had to stay home and complain about a movie that was a real good time.

Darth Maul, the mother of dragons, and Phoebe-frickin-Waller-Bridge … GAH!

It’s great, the movie is great. The market is wrong. The market is/was wrong.

Oh yeah, and Woody Harrelson, I mean jeez—what do you want? Chewie even had an extra strap to his bandolier.

So, naturally, I wrote a book for a market that doesn’t exist, and at any other time in my life, I’d write a blog post making fun of myself for being a bad business person except there is a federal occupation three miles away.

And that is not OK with me.

Anyway, it seems as though we’re as politically divided as we’ve ever been, and it’s easy to de-humanize the other side. But, I would like to point out that I am a human. Now, I realize that is something an alien might say to convince you otherwise, but stay focused; we’re almost at the end of this blog post.

So, if you know me, or just like my work, please consider this human up in the Pacific Northwest. This isn’t just happening on the page or in a video clip somewhere—it’s happening in a place where people live. It’s happening where I live, just three miles away.

And if you didn’t like Solo, that’s OK, you’re entitled to your opinion. Feel free to drop me a line.

Blog Post #29: Something Special in the Air

This week, a lot of us watched a viral video of a man punching the headrest of a woman who reclined her seat under the auspices that both were in the wrong. What? Pretty quickly, Twitter coalesced to one voice to agree that the puncher was in the wrong.

If you’re curious about my stance: OF COURSE HE’S IN THE WRONG.

So, I wrote a snarky draft detailing the art of passive-aggressive combat in the air but decided against publishing it. Seems like there’s enough negativity going around lately, so I thought I’d post one of the positive things I’ve learned during my time flying the friendly skies.

It’s pretty simple, really. Keep stocked up on gum and offer it to the person next to you once you’ve landed and after you’ve taken a piece for yourself (you don’t want them to think they have bad breath … even though they probably do … we all do after a long flight).

They usually appreciate it, and you have a friend for the next five to ten minutes while you’re taxiing to the gate. It will brighten up their day a little, and it might just brighten up yours.

That’s it, that’s the blog. Bon voyage!

PS: Stumbled across October Faction on Netflix this weekend, and I’m loving it. It’s not perfect, but it has a lot of heart. A warm, semi-creepy heart.

Blog Post #28: Ahoy There!

I just returned to dark rainy Portland (which I love very much) from sunny Hawaii. I booked the trip a while back because I knew I’d need some sun during the long dark months of winter here in the Pacific Northwest, and boy was that ever a good decision.

If you’re not familiar with seasonal affective disorder, it’s this whole thing. Check it out, it’s fascinating—and something you can think about if you craft characters on space ships and far-flung outposts… (big hint on the next book).

Anyway, one of the things I did during my time away was book a spot a whale watching tour.

“Now, Brian,” you say. “Can’t you go on whale watching tours in Oregon and Washington?”

Yes, shut up.

I went to Hawaii.

Years ago—about forty or so, my parents started buying books to read to me at night. One of the first ones they got for me was this huge picture book about whales. The illustrations were beautiful, correct, and the content has stayed with me my entire life. Turns out, I know a lot about whales because of this foundational book.

My dad and I used to lounge around on the floor of our living room and watch Jacques Cousteau specials just about every weekend (when he wasn’t watching football … call back to the last blog).

Also, and this is just between you and me, I had a rather embarrassing moment with a baby sitter watching the mating habits of whales on NOVA one time. I knew what that thing was, and she knew what that thing was, but she wasn’t about to talk about it with a seven-year-old, and I as that seven-year-old, wasn’t about to talk about it with my babysitter.

And, of course, there’s the major plot point from Star Trek IV.

So, imagine my delight when I found out I could watch humpback whales in their prime birthing season, in Maui, on a Cousteau Society tour.

Are you done imagining? Well, don’t stop, there’s more blog to go.

As luck would have it, there was a small turn out — five people on a twelve-person tour—a great start — more whales for me. Two of the people were (and presumably still are) from College Station, TX, where I graduated from high school. We knew a lot of the same people, so the tour was going gangbusters before we even got on the water.

Then the tour.

Folks, there were so many whales! And those gorgeous fifty-foot animals love jumping out of the water. It was an incredible thing to behold.

I made a promise to myself to enjoy the moment instead of viewing it from behind the screen of a phone, and I held to that for the most part. As a result, I don’t have many pictures to document the experience, but I have amazing memories. I figure there are a million pictures with high res/perfectly processed pictures out there, and I wouldn’t advance the craft with my iPhone candids.

I’m glad I took that approach.

I’ve seen myriad docs, and read so many books about these amazing creatures, that it was extraordinary to see them up close and in person. It was awe-inspiring to see a small family of three turn on a dime to swim across our bow. It was hilarious to watch a calf continually breach fully out of the water for what felt like forever.

Hard to believe we share the same planet as they do, and I’m so grateful I got a chance to witness them up close. So, if you’re ever in Hawaii in February (or the Pacific Northwest during the summer), do yourself a favor and take a tour*.

 

*Do your research prior to said tour to ensure you’re getting a responsible guide.

 

PS: I watched the new season of Sabrina on Netflix this past week and was not disappointed. I love the tone, story, and overall vibe of the show. It’s so much fun, can’t wait for the next season.

PPS: Next in Fashion is so good that it may have ruined Project Runway for me. I need me one of those Daniel Fletcher trenches.

Blog Post #27: The Promise

Did you ever make a promise to yourself when you were a kid?

Did you keep it?

I grew up in the 80s. It was a glorious time when consumerism boomed, and marketers figured out how to advertise to kids during Saturday morning cartoons. There was a lot of bike riding, Dairy Queen stopping, and arcade playing. It was a good time—just like Stranger Things.

OK, maybe not just like the show … but parts of it.

Anyway: the promise.

One Saturday morning, I was watching cartoons, as usual, when my dad came in and asked to turn the channel to college football. It was nice of him to ask; he didn’t have to. It was his television, and I was five years old.

I, of course, said no. I was watching CBS Storybreak (or whatever).

He, of course, changed the channel and invited me to watch college football with him (because he was a great dad).

I wasn’t into it. I was into the cartoon. I was going to miss out by watching a sport I didn’t really care about (at that time). I think he said something like, “you’ll change your mind someday,” but I didn’t believe him.

In fact, I made a promise to myself that morning. I would always like cartoons. I would never grow out of them for football, and surprisingly, I’ve always held on to that. For real, that happened when I was five, and I’ve thought about that moment for thirty-eight years.

I like watching football, by the way. Thankfully it doesn’t get in the way of any of my favorite cartoons these days, mostly because Saturday morning cartoons don’t exist anymore, and also I can watch them on demand any time I want.

If you can remember a similar promise you made to yourself, hit me up on Twitter. Comments are disabled here.

 

PS: I’ve been watching Shrill on Hulu lately. Big fan. Reminds me of an updated Austin Stories from MTV back in the day. Only with a clear point of view and character progression.

Blog Post #26: The Comeback

Hi, it’s me—Brian.

You may be wondering, “where have you been for the last year and a half?”

It’s a good question.

The answer: Portland, OR.

“But Brian, you’re an author based out of Austin, Texas, that enjoys looking for the strange underbelly of his beloved city,” you say.

You make a good point.

Now that city is Portland. I’ll update my “about” section later.

Look, here’s the deal, I’ve gone through a bunch of life stuff, but now I’m back. If you liked my book, I have some great news coming for 2020, so keep your eyes peeled for that. In the meantime, this post is an easy way for me to ease back into blogging. Expect more Top Ten lists and other such click-baitable fare in the near future.

 

PS: I’ve been into the podcast “Walking The Floor” with Chris Shiflett (guitar player for the Foo Fighters) lately. He interviews a wide range of songwriters, go see if he’s interviewed someone you really like.

Blog Post #25 Top Ten Pods of 2018 (So Far, Anyway)

Hey Everybody.

My last post was a top tenner about this summer’s hottest songs. It was an easy format, fun to write, and a lot of people read it, so now you’re getting another one. Today’s blog covers my favorite podcasts of the year (so far, anyway). Some of them are recent discoveries, some of them I’ve listened to for a while, but all would receive my official stamp of approval if I had the ego to manufacture an official stamp.

I’m also in a big-time decluttering phase, so I’m not even sure where I’d store such a thing.

Anyway, without further preamble—the list:

Top Ten Pods of 2018:

10) Men in Blazers — I’ve listened to this pod for a while, and it always delivers. Rog’s woe-ridden Evertonian everyman is a perfect balance to Davo’s effervescent Chelsea-ness. I tend to identify with Rog’s views on life, but as a fellow Chelsea supporter, usually see eye to eye with Davo.

I originally ran across them on Morning Joe years ago and have followed them ever since. They were the highlight of my listening rotation during the World Cup and will be again now that the Premier League schedule has started in earnest.

This podcast will arm you with enough information to hold a conversation at one of those dive bars that open early on a Saturday so that people can watch soccer (football) games.

In other words, you probably won’t ever find it useful, but it’s still an entertaining listen.

9) Writing Excuses — I kind of feel obligated to mention something about writing since this is why a lot of you are here. Also, I listen to this pod every week.

I’m always looking for tips, tricks, and motivation wherever I can find them, and this show delivers them in easily digestible fifteen-minute broadcasts. Great for a quick walk with the dogs.

If you’re a writer, this pod will help you question everything you’ve ever done, and occasionally give you a fresh perspective on your writing for the day or week.

8) The Adventures of Memento Mori — Full disclosure: DS Moss is a friend of mine, but I’d listen to this pod anyway. Episodes examine the afterlife in a style that mashes-up Serial, Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations, and … I don’t know, take your pick of one or more great Netflix docs (like Ugly Delicious for example). Check it out if you haven’t heard it, and tell your friends.

7) WTF — I’m sure you’ve heard of it, and actually, it should be way up higher on my list, but I’m too lazy to change it now.

Marc Maron is one of my favorite interviewers, if not my favorite. He’s able to utilize all the tools he’s collected in his life to take his listeners on open and honest adventures with his guests. He obviously has a great sense of humor, but you can feel the empathy, insecurity, and personal growth from years of therapy in his interviews. That may seem like a weird list of things to like at first, but it makes him a real guy. He puts himself out there, flaws and all—and it makes you like him. Well, it makes me like him, anyway.

He speaks, in depth, to the perils of addiction, of fame—or the desire for fame, and sometimes just  wonders where the cat he’d been leaving food out for went. There’s something there for all of us, and he consistently gets something out of his guests that no one else can. You see the same name in a lot of pods when actors are out pushing their latest project, but you always get a different interview with Maron.

Great for one-upping movie guy at the party with some insight an actor shared that most people might not know. Also great for lifting some of the strategies he’s learned from therapy and applying them to your own life. Maybe like how you don’t constantly need to one-up people at parties.

6) Harmontown —Dan Harmon created Community as well as Rick and Morty, and I’m a big fan of both shows. Harmontown has a structure but feels free and effortless.

For the writers out there who are still reading, there are plenty of writing tips and other jewels of wisdom you can collect from week to week amid all sorts of weird bits you’d enjoy if you like Rick and Morty. Harmon is another guy that’s open about his years of talk therapy, and I don’t mind copping his strategies either.

5) Bill Simmons Podcast — I’m pretty sure Page 2 on ESPN (.go.com) was the first blog I consistently read. It was either that or Ain’t It Cool News. Anyway, Page 2 was Simmons’ brainchild, and he went on to create Grantland as well as the Thirty for Thirty series for ESPN. Dude knows his stuff, especially when it comes to basketball, and is a great interviewer. His pods with Kevin Durant are legendary, and he has a great line-up of contributing personalities.

His gambling bits with Cousin Sal from The Jimmy Kimmel Show are always good, and his latest feature where his daughter comes on and talks about what junior high kids are into these days (Netflix, social media, it’s cute, but highly listenable. Yeah—I said cute but highly listenable, I don’t like cute. Sue me. I also just put a bunch of sentences into parentheses … I do what I want).

Anyway, I don’t watch sports like I used to, in fact, it’s pretty much limited to Premier League games these days, but I still like to know what’s going on. His pods are perfect for that. Lots of Fantasy Football talk, trade rumors, and inside baseball kind of talk (mainly for basketball, but the term still applies). This podcast is great for keeping you up to date in the overall world of sports so you can “well, actually” your annoying cousin Ted at Sunday lunch.

 

4) Planet Money — Short, sweet pods that give you that edge at the next gathering you attend. Another interesting story about how your son eats paste, Gerald? Fascinating. Now, let’s talk about how there’s a secret global postal organization that’s rigged postage rates so that it’s cheaper to mail something to the US from China than it is to ship from Texas to Louisiana.

Sounds crazy, right? Like it’s a conspiracy theory … it’s not. I learned it from Planet Money. Not the bit about Gerald’s son, Gerald doesn’t even exist for godssakes. The global post thing.

The episode focused on a cup manufacturer that freaked out because his competitor offers up the same design for less than it would cost him to ship his product, let alone manufacture it.

Segments are upbeat and easily digestible fifteen to twenty-minute pods that are also great for quick walks with the dogs.

3) Armchair Expert — Just started listening to this lately. Dax Shepard has a similar style to Marc Maron or Howard Stern and consistently draws unique interviews out of his guests.

He even does an after show wrap-up to tell you what he or the guest got wrong in the course of discussion (like if facts were misquoted or he used an incorrect turn of phrase).

This pod is great for whenever someone is like, “I need to find a new podcast to listen to.” You’ll be right there with the recommendation, and people will love you. They probably won’t write songs about you or anything, but they may just tip their coffee mug to you in the break room the following Monday.

2) Hardcore History — Dan Carlin. The man is a legend. Another great one for meetings or parties where you can correct someone’s pronunciation of Ghengis Khan, then prattle on like you know a ton about him—because you do. By then you’ll have listened to hours and hours of history about Ghengis Khan and his rise to power.

You’re getting history from a great storyteller, with multiple sources and points of view cited. A must listen.

1) Song Exploder — Do you like music? Of course you do, and odds are that the good people at Song Exploder have talked to one of your favorite artists. You can hear Jeff Tweedy, Amy Mann, St. Vincent, or the guy from Bleachers talk about the origins of one of their songs. Everything from the story that inspired it to the actual crafting. “I got this riff from here, and we were at this weird piano,” you know … stuff like that. You listen to thirty minutes of story and hear the song at the end, and at least for me, I always come away with a new appreciation for it.

Great for the late hours of a party where you may have been overserved. A song comes on, and you roll your head over to tell the person next to you. You tell them everything you know about it … and you know a lot. Three songs have played since you started talking and, oh no, where are they going…

0) Comedy Bang Bang— Zero? You can’t have a number zero; this is a top ten list!

 Ha, jokes on you! I will have a zero; it’s too late, it’s done.

Scott Auckerman is hilarious. He wrote for Mr. Show, a bunch of other things you probably thought were great. Comedy Bang Bang was a show on IFC, and one the funniest podcast out there. He interviews a guest at the top of each show, and then a bunch of comedians will pop in and improv. Contributors include Paul F Tomkins, Lauren Lapkus, Ben Schwartz, Thomas Middleditch, and Jon Gabrus.

Great for borrowing funny things to say in conversation, and of course, citing your source.

-1) Spontaneanation — Wait, I allowed zero, but a negative one? This is highly unorthodox, sir.

Well, buckle up because it’s the law, and it’s for your own good. Have you read vehicular injury reports since the mandate for seatbelts?

Hosted by Paul F Tomkins, it’s a similar format to Comedy Bang Bang except they take a scene from the guest at the top, let’s say Jon Hamm, and do a full-on improv scene as the second act to each show. It’s all scored by Eban Schletter, whose name you’ll learn how to spell from a song, and it is ooonly—the best.

Did you say Jon Hamm’s name out loud earlier? It’s just a figure of speech, dude.

-2) Raised by TV — Negative two? Fine, whatever. Just do what you want.

Lauren Lapkus and Jon Gabrus watched a LOT of TV growing up, but guess what? So did I, so I’m all in on this pod. Duck Tales, Saturday Morning Cartoons, Wrestling, and The Facts of Life—it has it all and more. 

Honorable Mention:

Oprah’s Master Class — Yeah. Honorable mention. It’s Oprah, who is more honorable? That’s right, no one.

That said, the show hasn’t lived up to its name quite yet.

You get to hear how Justin Timberlake, Alicia Keys, and Jay Z came up to make it, but instead of the long format pods like ID10T, WTF, or Armchair—you’ll hear the cuts in the takes during the interview. The common thread so far is that no one had their career handed to them, but you’re not exactly getting a master class either.

The pod is great for people. Just in general. It’s Oprah; you might as well listen.

So you’ve done it, you’ve read another blog. Good job. Now, feel free to download one or more of the podcasts above, and go for a walk or something. Especially if it’s nice out, you can take the dogs. They’d probably like to go pee on something. I know mine always do.

Oh, and speaking of pods, here's an interview I did for Smells Like Infinite Sadness. It's Pod #10.

Blog Post #24: Top Ten Songs of the Summer

I caught up with an old friend recently, and after the usual small talk about how the 100+ degree Austin summer days are killing us both, we transitioned to what we were watching on Netflix (The Sinner), our favorite movie of the summer (Ant-Man and The Wasp), and favorite recent podcast discovery (The Adventures of Memento Mori).

I know, riveting stuff, I’m an incredible conversationalist.

The conversation got me thinking though; we didn’t talk about music. Why is that, and what are my favorite songs this summer? Unfortunately, nothing really stands out—probably because I’m old, but maybe, just maybe, it’s because the industrial music machine doesn’t crank out hits like they used to. Not to say the music is any worse than it ever was, but it just doesn’t have the same push.

Case in point—the World Cup. Robbie Williams led the opening ceremony with his hit “Let Me Entertain You.” I mean, cool, I like Robbie Williams, but that song was released in 1997.

Not to worry, the song of the World Cup was really “Seven Nation Army,” a legit, badass thumper that was released … in 2003.

Verdict: I’m definitely old, but apparently the arbiters of taste like the same type of music as I do, so look for a variety of Wilco songs to permeate this fall’s English Premier League broadcasts, I guess. Or whatever the kids are watching these days—get off my lawn.

With all that in mind, here are my top ten songs for the summer of 2018:

10) “Lucky Star” — Madonna. Released in 1983, I was seven years old and loved going to the pool. This song was always on at the pool, so it makes the list.

9) “Slam” — Onyx. Released in 1993, I was in high school, and it was fun to play basketball at the pool where I grew up in College Station. No, I didn’t live in a pool in high school. That wouldn’t happen until much later, and yes they set up a basketball goal alongside the pool so we could almost drown each other every day playing something between water polo, basketball, and mixed martial arts.

8) “Dreams” — Beck. I could have sworn I listened to it last summer, but the internet says October 2017, so check-mate, brain! Anyway, I like this song, and I like Beck. Listed.

7) “Revival” — Me Phi Me. Released on the Reality Bites soundtrack in 1994, I listened to it non-stop as an angsty high schooler going into his senior year. The movie had it all—slacker vibe, filmed in Houston, TX (just down the road from where I lived, y’all), and Winona Ryder. Some of these things I liked more than others, but what I loved most was cruising around the neighborhoods of Central Texas with the windows down, blasting the song through my Discman, and letting everyone know I was listening to the latest in hip-hop.

6) “Cantaloupe” — Us3. Everything from the post above, but in addition, the track has trumpets. Do you like trumpets? Of course you do. Now enjoy these funky beats.

5) “Tempted” — The Squeeze. JFC, I guess just put the whole soundtrack of Reality Bites on here, with the exception of a couple of tracks (you know the ones).

4) “Axel F” — Harold Faltermeyer. You probably thought it was written and performed by Herbie Hancock … well, it wasn’t. I thought so too until I looked it up for this dumb list.

Released as part of the Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack in 1984, it was everywhere that summer along with “The Heat is On.” This is the first song I remember hearing on the radio that didn’t have any lyrics. That was the summer of friends asking friends, do you know the name of that song? Which one? The one that goes doo-doo-doo (you get where I’m going with this). Every time it came on at the pool, the elementary school kids went nuts. Myself included.

3) “Ghostbusters” — Ray Parker Jr. Released in the summer of 1985, I almost didn’t include it on the list because it was really more of a skating rink joint, and I’m in more of a pool vibe here, but its summer greatness is undeniable.

Fight me if you disagree.

Just like Huey Lewis fought Ray Parker Jr. in court for stealing the bass line for “Wanna a New Drug” (and won). I guess I’d prefer to be Huey Lewis in that analogy, and since this is my blog, I am. Deal with it.

2) “The Humpty Dance” — Digital Underground. Released in 1990, “The Humpty Dance” belongs on any best-of list, and that includes this one. Science.

1) “The Way” — Fastball. Released in 1998, this song made me want to move to Austin. Granted I lived in Abilene, TX, a town known mainly for its wind, dirt, and church/human ratio, but I loved the video and really wanted to be able to play the guitar solo (I couldn’t).

So that’s it, folks. The sweet tunes of the summer of 2018, brought to you by a similar mind trust as the programmers of the World Cup. Hope you enjoyed it (both the blog and the sporting event), and feel free stop back by for more pointless articles like this.

Your pal,

Brian

Blog Post #23: The Michael Jordan of Blog Posts - or - What I Learned by Listening This Week

I started listening to Dan Harmon’s Harmontown podcast this week (I know, I know … I’m late to the party, whatever) and was lucky enough to hear a jewel of knowledge from the episode titled “Huh huh huh huh.” I may have missed some “huhs.”

He talked about “Want” vs. “Willing.” What we want versus what we’re willing to do about it.

A lot of us have wants—most of us have wants … OK … maybe all of us have wants. Are our wants realistic, are they too big—too vague? Are they so big and so vague that they keep us from doing anything about them?

“I want world peace.”

Not many people are in a position to change the world as individuals. If you evaluate this want on its face versus what you can do to affect change, you may end up doing nothing. The attitude being, “I want world peace, but there’s nothing I can really do about it, so I’ll just go take a nap.”

However, you might be able to put a dent in that want based on what you’re willing to do about it. “I want world peace, so I’m willing to be nice to people this morning.”

There. Now we’re managing the want. Breaking it down into a bite size morsel that we can do something about. I’m not willing to be nice to people all day—I don’t even know if I can do that. But I can probably handle the morning.

That’s great, Brian, be nice to people—cool takeaway.

OK OK, fair enough (but I’m quoting the podcast, so get off my back, OK).

Maybe if you’re on this blog, you’re a writer, or some other type of creative.

“I want to write a perfect novel.”

OK, good want. Unrealistic, but it’s a natural want. It’s a want that can keep you from doing anything, though. You can’t think of that perfect sentence to start your article, short story, or novel—so you go take a nap … or check Twitter … or go watch TV (you know what you do when you’re distracted, fill in the blank here).

-but-

“I want to write a perfect novel, but I’m willing to sit down and write for an hour this morning. Regardless of quality.”

You’re on your way. You won’t write the perfect novel, let alone chapter in that hour, but you’ll write. You may even fall into a perfect concept. You may construct a perfect sentence. You may create a perfect character.

-or-

You may create a good character—maybe even a great one. You may write a very good chapter.

The point is, you will have written something. Something you can revise and make better, rather than do nothing because you psyched yourself out.

It’s a great methodology to keep the great from being the enemy of the good.

 

Anyway, that’s my bit this week. I listened to a podcast and learned something. I did some other stuff too that maybe you’ll hear about some other time, but for right now, the lesson I learned above wins the space for this week’s blog.

 

PS: Also enjoyed John August’s Launch podcast about his experience of writing, selling, and launching a book as well as Song Exploder. A podcast that has musicians come on and break down songs from how they wrote it, to how it was recorded.

 

Highly recommend both.

Blog Post #22: Short Stories and You

Today I'm here to promote another tab within my own website called "short stories."

I know, it's exciting.

Figured I'd put something here for those who check out the blog every week (thank you, btw) who think I may be slacking. Of course, I'm slacking, but I still managed to get some content up this week, and here it is: https://brian-corley.com/short-stories/

The first post is called The Minotaur in the Cube Maze and I hope you enjoy it. If you like it, feel free to shoot me a note, sign up for my mailing list, or retweet the link on Twitter. You could also mention it to random strangers while waiting in line for coffee, talk to your Uber driver about it ... if you're an Uber driver (or Lyft, they're great too), you could talk to your passengers about it. If you're a lifeguard, you can tell that kid to stop running and "WALK!" Then maybe mention something about this great blog you like to read while you have everyone's attention.

There are a million different ways to talk about the things we love, don't let me pigeon hole you. You do your thing.

Blog Post #20 Take a Look at Me Now

This past week I listened to a thoroughly enjoyable, yet slightly sad This American Life Podcast episode about break ups titled: Break-Up. If you listened to it, it had some great stuff, especially the Puppy Boy bit at the end.

However, the first story has stayed with me all week. The one about a relationship between two people that had a shared affinity for Phil Collins, and during the break-up, she paraphrased the lines from “Against All Odds,” and recited them to her now ex-boyfriend. “How can you just let me walk away? I’m the only one who really knew you at all.”

I know, I know—it’s corny, but it got me.

But then—then! Phil Collins enters during the next scene, and he’s on the phone talking to her about writing Against All Odds and giving her advice on how to write her own break-up song. What???

Maybe it’s hard to understand now, but growing up in the eighties, Phil Collins was a bonafide rock star. Sure, he may have kind of looked like one of your friend’s dad, but he was still cool. Now, all of a sudden, here he is again, back in my life, talking about song writing.

He didn’t have much air time on the show, but it seemed like from the conversation he had with the contributor that he really listened to what she had to say. She was a completely untrained writer. Couldn’t play any instruments, and had never written a song. Still, he gave great advice: simple is better.

I recommend the episode for anyone reading this hoping to get any writing advice, you have to hear it for yourself.

She went on to write a few songs, then collaborated with a couple of people to finally bring the break-up song to life. She was surprised that they picked the song that they did. It was from her “crazy pile,” and didn’t think anyone would read it.

I wonder if it was because it was so simple and straight from the heart, that it seemed easy to write, and she thought that writing had to be harder. Or was it too scary to write, so she didn’t want anyone to read it?

I think as writers, we’ve all had that moment. The moment where we almost delete something because it seems too close, too honest, too strange, too weird, too preachy … but we keep it on the page just in case.

 I think sometimes those are the moments we find our voice.

Where we move past agonizing over a sentence or paragraph because it’s not good enough. We think that there should be flowery words because this writing is forever! Once it’s on the page, we can’t change it.

We freeze ourselves out and cover our real intentions.

I remember the moment where I finally got out of my own way. I was probably two years or so into trying to write songs. I’d start a verse or two, look at it, retool it—replace my vocabulary with fancier words. Read it later, think it was garbage and throw it away.

I’d complete songs here and there, some better than others, but I couldn’t find consistency.

One morning I finally told myself that it can’t all be Shakespeare. Literally those exact words, “It can’t all be Shakespeare.”

That was enough, and I was free.

I just wrote whatever came into my mind from then on and got out of my own way. Some songs were better than others, but I was writing consistently. Some songs flowed out in one piece, that I’d be happy to play, while others—not so much. But after a while, I had a catalog to draw from. I could borrow verses, choruses, and bridges from songs that didn’t work and mash them together to create a Frankenstein’s Monster of mid 90s angst.

It translates to writing short stories and novels too.

That first draft is going to be ugly. So is the second, and the third. Eventually, you’ll get there over time—you just have to make sure you don’t stop yourself. What’s more, it’ll be your voice. You may not sound like Shakespeare, Neil Gaiman, Anne Rice, or Ursula Le Guin, but that’s OK—the world already has their work.

So, there it is, a blog with a great podcast recommendation, and a piece on voice. Also, let me tell you something, Phil Collins’ stuff still holds up.

I’ve had “Against All Odds” in my head all week, and that’s a good thing.

Blog Post #19 LitFest Pasadena (California)

By this time next week, I’ll be done with my first book festival panel. Incredibly excited to participate in the Shades & Shadows event at LitFext Pasadena next Saturday, May 19th. If you live in Southern California and want to make the trip, the event will take place from 8:00-10:00 pm at the address below:

 

Pasadena Playhouse

Friendship Room

39 S El Molino Ave

Pasadena, CA  91101

 

I’ll be reading a passage from Ghost Bully alongside some other great writers from the area. Hope to see you there!

P.S. I know I said there would be dumb jokes and writing tips for this week's blog post, but apparently I'm a huge liar. Sorry.

Blog Post #18: The blog that votes and buys cigarettes.

The Twitter Bug, and what it means for you.

 

Pretty good headline, huh? Disclaimor: I’m not a security expert, but I used to work for a large technology company that talked a lot about cyber security.

Some of us use the same password for everything—it’s easier to remember that way. Maybe you worked hard to create a strong, easy to remember password like Gh0stBullyismyF4vBook100%. Phrases like that are great (better than a password of, say: password). In fact, it’s exactly how you want to think about passwords, so you have a better chance at avoiding bots that are good at guessing those types of things. However, the problem with having one password for everything is that once someone figures it out, they might be able to get into all your other accounts as well.

This week Twitter realized that every user’s password was written into an internal log before completing a masking/hashing process. Meaning that if you knew where to look, you’d see usernames and passwords instead of ####$@$%@#$% or something to that effect. They don’t have an indication that there was a breach, but they’re letting us all know just in case someone else figured it out first or would have … because … of course they would have.

What does this mean?

When a hack occurs, someone or a group of someones figure out how to hack a database. They may know that user: Gh0stBully logs in with the email of BestBookEvarrr@madeupemailserver.com and uses the password: J0n4hSoC00l

Now, they can run a script that tries to log into Facebook, Insta, Twitter … your bank … log in, change the password, and presto-change-O, they’re now you for all intents and purposes. Because a lot of people don’t just use the same password for everything, they also use the same email address a lot of times as well.

Furthermore, it’s not just big companies like Yahoo, Google, or Twitter that get hacked. It could be your favorite blog about, and now your info is out there on the dark web (spooky sounding, right?) for all to see, which is why it’s crucial to have a different password for every site.

But how you say—how in the world could I ever remember all the passwords?

You can’t, probably.

I can’t anyway, so I use a password manager called LastPass. There are a bunch out there, so do your research, but for like thirteen bucks a year, I get super-secure, unique passwords for each site, so I don’t have to freak out if one gets hacked. I just change the password for that site and move on with my morning. Maybe peruse my favorite donut blog, I don’t know.

 

Password managers take some work to set up initially as you go around and load your sites and create new passwords for them all, but afterward, they’ll make your life a lot easier. Just remember to change your password for the password manager periodically … and don’t write it down on a post it and put it on your computer monitor (people really do this)!

TL;DR (Too long; didn’t read)

Twitter found a bug in their system. Change your password and take a look at a password manager if you haven’t already.

Back to dumb jokes and writing tips next week.

Blog Post #17

Another busy week of editing. Additional side quests and revision continues to dominate time spent on book two, so much so that I’ve barely been able to get past chapter twelve so far. I’m confident that the work done up front will all pay off for all of us down the line though (writer, characters, and reader … well, maybe not all the characters).

Talked to a friend about a podcast that could lead to an audiobook for Ghost Bully. Probably premature to write about it here, but why not? We’re thinking a couple of chapters a week that would finish out on Halloween (or the week of), what do you think? Go ahead and @ me wherever you feel like on social media.

Also looking forward to LitFest Pasadena next month, and thinking about which scene(s) to read. Funny, scary, or action? Maybe something that encompasses all three. A little nervous about a public reading, but it’s part of the storytelling gig, and it seems like an incredible event hosted by Shades and Shadows, so I can’t wait.

Blog Post #15

Started the revision process for the second book this past week after letting it sit for about a month. I noticed a difference in my attitude between the first revisions of Ghost Bully, and I’m pleasantly surprised.

I’ll never forget writing (in bold, mind you) The End on my first book. It was exhilarating—I’d done it. To quote Lisa Mangum, I was ready for my “Rich and Famous Contract,” where do I sign? Turns out it doesn’t work out like that for most people.

I’d read plenty of advice from other authors like Neil Gaiman or Jim Butcher that tell us to let our story sit for a while until we forget about it, so I did. Reading Ghost Bully again for the first time, I was horrified to see than many typos (in a dazzling variety), misspelled words, poor grammar, etc.… and that was before I knew what I was really doing wrong. I’d curse myself as I fixed the problems with the prose or dialogue, punching up jokes as I went along, and thinking I’d fixed everything by the time I finished.

Then cursed myself all over again on the next revision.

This past week, I’ve been more forgiving of myself. This time around, I’m treating the manuscript like a piece of scrap metal that needs to be beaten into shape and polished before sending it out into the world. It’s OK if jokes aren’t hitting right now, or parts aren’t connecting like I thought they might … or that I even forgot to put the connections in. I just need to fix the story. It’s a much healthier attitude, and I’m happy I’m in that place … at least at the moment.

I’m also thankful to have a writing group this go-round to give me direction and counsel on how the story is shaping up and ways to improve it.

There’s a lot of work to do between now and the release next year, but I’m excited about doing it. I’ll be revising this thing pretty much non-stop until the Fall, but it will be worth it, and I hope you enjoy it.

*

Also, watched Loaded, the second season of A Series of Unfortunate Events, and Nailed It this week on Netflix. Highly recommend along with The Magicians which ended their season with a bang this past week as well. Fun and well thought out story telling on that show, can’t wait for next season.

Blog Post #14 Hoppy Easter

I’m almost upset when people don’t post “Hoppy Easter” whenever they’re posting pictures of their kids wearing bunny ears … or at all. Hey, this is the one holiday you can make a hilarious play on words with well-wishing … as a group. I suppose you could wish your friend a “Hoppy” Birthday if they were into IPAs or just sprained their ankle and refused to get crutches.

Blog Post #11 (Stranger Things)

Welcome back to another mailbag where I'll take your Qs and throw back some As. Ready? Here we go!

Question #1

Dear Brian,

Would you enable comments on your blog so we can say mean and hateful things?

Signed,

Let The Good Times Troll

 

Dear LTGTT,

I'll think about it.

Brian

Question #2

Dear Brian,

I'm from Germany and your book changed my life! Thank you for writing it.

Signed,

Euro Number One Fan

 

Dear ENOF,

I don't believe you.

Brian

 

Question #3

Dear Brian,

Hiya! I practice judo in Austin, and wanted to see if I could sign up with the Psy-Kicks.

Signed,

Kicking It Old School

 

Dear KIOS,

First off, I see what you did there with the intro, good work. Secondly, they're not real. Sorry.

Your Pal,

Brian

 

Well thanks everybody, glad we were able to get through this without any SmartWool questions--double checking ... nope, no SmartWool questions this week. See you again next time!